The F*ck It Mantra with Deanna Seymour

Julie: 00:00:00

The closest I've ever come to having a mantra is saying out loud, the 1988, Nike slogan, just do it. Whenever I've come to her crossroads or needed to make a decision. But the more I read about tools to personal success, the more I read about why we should all have our own personal mantra. Welcome to episode 51, where I am joined by Danna, Seymour or DD as her friends call her to discuss how she discovered her own mantra. And how it has changed your life. This episode is sponsored by Nickerson. A full service, branding, marketing PR and communications agency with offices in Boston, LA, Miami, and New York city. Visit them@nickersoncos.com. Before we get into the conversation with Didi, I'm going to give a little context to what we're talking about. First. Let's define what a mantra is. A mantra is a word or a grouping of words or sounds they are spoken or chanted aloud, or they can be recited internally in your thoughts. Mantras are used in many organized religions, originating in Hinduism and Buddhism. The use of mantras is thought by scholars to predate 1000 BC. There is even a suggestion that mantras may be older than language itself. in Sanskrit, the word mantra is derived from the root Mahnaz meaning mind in the suffix tra meaning tool. Hence a literal translation would be a tool for the mind. By focusing the mind on one word or thought and nothing else. The mind stills, allowing what may be hidden to arise to our consciousness. Do they work well? Many neuroscientists have proved that the repetitive sounds and language of mantras can and do affect aspects of our life. So. Now I'm sitting here saying fuck and great. Another thing for me to try to do and fail miserably, that another thing that I should be doing for myself, but somehow can't seem to get done. Does this happen to you? Or am I the only one who gets stressed out about not being able to find the right mindset or transcendence because everyone else seems to be able to do it. Well, that is why DDC Maura's here today. She's here to discuss her own failed journey with mantras and words of the year and how she accidentally stumbled upon the mantra for her and how it has changed her life. Didi is the host of the imperfect party podcast. She's been an art educator for over a decade and she says she has a lifetime of screwing things up, girl, same. D D welcome to the podcast.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:03:13

Yeah, well, good. We already have So much in common. I love it.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:03:18

So I want to start off by saying we, so we know what mantras are. We know people are talking about. What made you think you needed a monitor?

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:03:26

Well, okay. So honestly, just hearing you say all that, I'm like, wow, I'm fancy with a mantra. Like Honestly, the first time I tried affirmations or mantras was when I was trying to have my baby. Non-medicated unmedicated, so I was like, okay. I think, I think I'm going to need all the hippy stuff and so let's to etsy.com and get some pregnancy birthing affirmations. So I printed those out and taped them to the wall and I never saw him cause my eyes were closed. I was in a bathtub miserable and ended up having a C-section. So they didn't do anything for me. Just

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:03:59

So you, weren't thinking you wanted a natural child.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:04:03

yes. Yes I

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:04:04

that's not something I've ever would have signed up for to begin with. I would have been like, how many drugs am I legally allowed to have? Societal? Was it like you felt pressure from society to have a natural childbirth?

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:04:17

Maybe societal, but also just one of my best friends was a doula, and I watched the documentary with Ricky lake. The business of being born. And I was like, ah, they're trying to like rush us through this process. So we ended up having a C-section That's a whole nother story, but that was like my first try. And I did hear about, like you were saying words of the year and all that. stuff. So I tried to pick a word of the year. I was like, that's a nice idea. Kind of like you said though, cause then you feel like a loser when you can't do it.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:04:43

I just feel like I have enough fucking pressure on me without, okay, now you need a mantra and now you need a word of the year. Now you need to meditate. Now you need to like, do all this other shit. I'm like like at what point does it stop that I'm feeling pressured to do all of these things that now I feel guilty about not being able to do that.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:05:04

I know. Right. Cause they're like, it's going to make you, it's going to change your life. And you're like, okay, it's going to change my life because it's going to suck more. Cause I have more things to do. Yeah. So my first one I was like, Okay. And I was also. Trying to really be better at body positivity. I knew I was having a little girl and I know even moms of boys should, You know, like everyone should be nice to themselves, but I thought, okay, we get to break the cycle. I'm going to be nicer, mindful of how I speak to myself, how I treat myself because I have a kid and she's going to be watching me. So it was all kind of like at the same time, which is why I bring up the birthing stuff is like what got me in the realm. And then I thought, okay, my first word of the year, which I already broke, the rule was two words. It was going to be choose love. And I was just going to like, be a more positive person. I was going to choose love, talking about myself, talking about others. Like I'm kind of a little bit of a shit talker because I feel like it's part of my humor. Like I just point out the funny. and things, which whatever I keep it real.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:06:05

You and I are so similar because people are like, oh, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. And I'm like, lady, if you don't have anything nice to say, sit next to me.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:06:14

That's

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:06:14

How about other people?

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:06:18

Say like, I was like, every time I would try to like, be like, oh my gosh, I feel like I'm making it sound like I'm like really bad, but it's, I mean, it's like lighthearted, funny, whatever it wasn't always choosing love for me. I mean, that's like, self-deprecating Right. Other people deprecating, but it's funny. And when I was trying to keep it so positive, all my funny material was gone. And I just remember going out to brunch with friends and being like, what the hell can we even talk about it? Like, my new role is so boring. Okay. We can't, we can't choose love. Like we're good people, but we got to talk some shit.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:06:53

I choose sarcasm. Like that should be mine.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:06:58

you got to find one that works. You can, you can totally nail that one And feel really good about yours.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:07:01

And I feel like standing from the position that I am, that like, I'm a networking expert. I'm a relationship expert. Like you can still Keep your sarcasm and your wit and all that, and still build really beautiful relationships. You don't have to be a Saint.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:07:17

Yes. Well, cause it's also real, like not everything is like positive and fun and great. And lovey Debbie, like all the time. So I feel like even though. You know, maybe sometimes it's like, whatever edgy, it's still real. And that's also what makes it funny. I think sometimes. So choose love was a flop and then. My husband and I like having a baby is really hard and being married is really hard. And we started going to marriage counseling which have a whole thing on that. Cause I'm like, yeah, everyone says it's real fucking hard. And then everybody's like, oh, you're going to counseling. And I'm like, yeah, everybody said it was hard. Like we have to learn how to like, we need help. It's hard.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:07:55

counseling before we got married,

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:07:56

Yeah. Yeah. That's so smart.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:07:59

I'm not saying that that's the re we've been married for seven, 17 years. Um, I think, okay. We got married in 2004. Um, we went to marriage counseling for six months because his parents were going through a divorce while we were getting married. My mother's been married three times. Like I have, like, I was like, I don't know how to do this.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:08:20

Yeah. we have to learn everything there's courses on literally anything. So what, why wouldn't you talk to somebody who knows what's up and can help you? Yes. So one of the things that sort of came up in therapy, is that a lot of times I feel like Molly, our counselor would say, that's just a story I'm telling myself. Sometimes she would say it to Matt, but mostly I think it was me making up the stories. So then I tried to have stories, be my word of The year. Cause it was like, it can remind me to Check in on myself and be like, is this a story I'm telling myself, but also to embrace, like living my life and creating story I don't know I was making it.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:08:56

was the story like, oh, this is not true. this is a fabrication or

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:09:01

yeah. Or Like yeah,

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:09:03

that's something you're telling yourself. And that is not true. That's where it was coming from.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:09:06

Which sometimes I'm like, yes, it is the evidence to back it up. It's totally true. But yeah, kind of like, what are you T or like, you know, a story I was telling myself maybe also back in the day was that my body wasn't good or right. Or, you know, try to like hone in on let's focus on the stories you're telling yourself. And like, I don't know what I was talking about. I was trying to, I was trying to make it up.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:09:28

other humans, it's fine. Like that.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:09:30

Yeah.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:09:31

Like I would, I don't, I don't know. I've never built a human, but my friends have and they are like, oh, I'm so tired. I'm like, you're building a human. I get tired of baking a fucking cake.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:09:45

Your body's like the actual oven. It's okay. Take a nap. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, so I was trying to do it again and I was like, okay, I'm going to concentrate on the stories, the stories I'm telling Matt, or I'm telling myself or whatever. And I painted a cute thing that said stories and we had it hanging up in our house and it was cute, but it didn't really, like, I didn't think about it very much after the initial, this is going to be my word. It was just hung up and in the background. So one thing I started thinking about is, both of those, I think also maybe failed. Cause they were more about other people than they were about me. Like it was about. Doing something for someone else and not myself. And so part of me is like, maybe that's also why they didn't stick. Cause I was like, okay, here, here's another thing I have to do. to be a better person or to whatever. So. The fuck It mantra my new mantra that has hung on for a few years now. Like unofficially there's no sign. It's just in there actually kind of came like the stories one was still hanging up. My friend Amanda came over and we were just laughing about it. Like I was like, oh my God. Remember when I was trying to choose love. And, and we still say, choose love, but it's totally sarcastic. You know? Like

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:11:00

It has to be at that point.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:11:02

yeah. We're like, Ooh, choose love. Um, and we'd, I was like, we were just

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:11:07

Every time you flip someone off, when you're driving, you're like,

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:11:09

No, like choose love. Oh my gosh. I know. Right. You just do that little heart sign could be the news, like secret secret

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:11:18

you do it with this space, but listeners can't see it, but my face says it all

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:11:24

Yeah. So fuck it kind of came out of that conversation with us being like, fuck it. We can't do it. Like, we can't keep up with it. Fuck it. And then. It was mostly her and I, talking about body stuff just in conversations or just telling a story and being like, oh man, I failed at this. And there's usually a shrug involved with the fuck it mantra too. There's like a little bit of a, I wonder if that's part of mantras to like, yo like a yoga. yeah, I'm always like, man. Fuck it. Like maybe there's a map in

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:11:53

It's a full-body mantra.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:11:54

It's just it because. I don't know what else can you do sometimes you're just like, fuck it with my body image. This is my body. And like you said, it grew some babies made some humans and it's just, that's what my thighs look like. Stop fucking, who cares? Like a lot of times it just helps snap me back into reality to be like, what is the point of even, Yeah, Caring about this. And maybe even too, it could sort of go back to choosing love. Cause sometimes too, if someone's like really getting me mad and I'm like, oh, can you believe this person did this thing? Or whatever? Like maybe back when I would have been like, choose love, fuck it works just as well. Like you can be like, well, fuck it. She doesn't matter. Or he doesn't matter, like, fuck it. It's

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:12:38

Got it. You know, my husband does have a meditative practice that he meditates every day. Like he's just a different person than me. And he has this thing, like whenever I'm angry or upset with someone else, he was like, they, they don't know you're angry. Your anger is only bothering you. Like they don't give a shit that you're angry or upset about this. So why are you putting off this bad vibe and Juju in your body by being angry. And I was like, well, cause I really don't have anything else to be right now besides angry. but he's so true. It's not, if they don't give a shit, like the person who is angering you, when you are angry, it's like it doesn't affect them. Another thing similar to something you just brought up was I interviewed a body positivity coach a while back, somewhere in there. And she said like the amount of time we spend wasting energy on negative thoughts and it doesn't have to be negative thoughts on your body. It can be negative thoughts on where you are in your career. It can be negative thoughts on your friendships or on your relationships. The amount of time we spend. Thinking and seeping in negative thoughts, like would that energy we could be doing so much more?

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:13:52

Exactly. Yeah, And it feels better also when you're like mad at someone to be like, fuck it then to, to choose love. Like I'm not ready to choose love when I'm still mad, but I'm okay with saying like, this is fuck it. We're not going to even think about it. You know?

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:14:06

has. It has that mantra sort of like if it started off more as a body positivity thing, has it seeped into other parts of your life and your career?

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:14:15

Yes. A hundred percent. I feel like it has just helped me be scared less it really does alleviate fear. Cause you start to think I don't know, should I do it? And then you're just like, fuck it. Why not? For me, I'm sort of a recovering perfectionist. That's kind of where imperfect party comes from. And, I'm a little bit of a worrier and. Not really like, fuck it. Don't be careless, be a crazy person, but just give it a try. And I feel like it kind of helps me not be paralyzed by overthinking things. What is it like Mel Robbins? I was like the five second rule.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:14:51

I love the five second role. It doesn't work for me all the time, because you have to do it. So like consistently, but what, after I read that book, cause she's a local girl from here. She's a Boston girl. after I read that book, I really. Put it into practice, mostly because I was at a time in my life where I was really, really tired. And I was hitting the snooze button every day. And that was affecting the way I felt about myself everyday because I was getting up later and not getting as much things done as I wanted to. So I used the five second rule for not hitting the snooze button and it did.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:15:23

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For me, I always think about, like on a dance floor, if you don't dance right away. If you stand off to the side and watch everyone else, then you're like, oh my God, dancing's weird. Whereas if you just said like, fuck it and danced, you'd be, cause you're also like, those people are having so much fun. Like I want to have fun like them, but now I'm like in my head being a weirdo about it. So just get out there. That's what I think.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:15:50

So you can apply to so many things. Like when I wanted to start my company, I vacillate, I went back and forth. Like I was, well, I was like, nauseous. am I really going to do this? Am I going to quit my job? Am I going to start my own company? And I just knew if I didn't do it, I wouldn't forgive him.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:16:08

Yeah.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:16:08

Yeah, or not doing it. And I also said to myself, well, what's the worst thing that can happen. The worst thing that can happen is my company failed. And I have to get a job again, somewhere else, which I knew I could do. so for me, that was an old case scenario. Like, okay, if this doesn't work, I'll just go work for someone else. And a lot of people do that. Not because their companies don't work, but because they don't want to be entrepreneurs anymore and they don't want to run companies and that's fun thing. And it, you know, it reminds me of that the whole Wayne Gretzky quote that you miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't Take

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:16:44

Yeah.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:16:44

the shot. Fuck it. Take the shot.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:16:46

Yeah. Might as well. I guess back in the day, my friend Jordan was going to get a tattoo that said might as well. So maybe that was like the precursor that's like the PG version of fuck. It might as well. I mean, like you said, you might as well, and obviously you can sit and think about like pros and cons. But for the most part, I think it helps give you permission. And you usually know, you know, when you flip a coin and you're like telling yourself already, it's going to, if it's heads, it's this sales and then you're like disappointed when it lands. Cause you knew you really wanted it to be the other one. I feel like this gives you permission to do the thing that you already know you want to do, but you just feel like, I don't know. Should I it's like your last little push.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:17:28

And I don't want to negate the fact that mantras have history and religion and they are super powerful, but I also think there's something powerful about saying I can't do it in that context. You know, I can't do it in a super religious context and meditate on it, whatever. But if I can somehow change it to fit something that will benefit me then that's okay too.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:17:52

Fuck it you're allowed the perfect thing. It lets you do whatever you want.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:17:57

Yeah.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:17:58

Yeah. Yeah I'm not religious at all and I'm not really, even that. Woo. Although, I feel like in my, I was gonna say my old age in my old age of 40, um, I'm more open to it, I guess.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:18:13

Yeah. You know, it's interesting doing this wound series. So this is the Wu series. So we're doing, numerology, mantras and intuition

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:18:23

okay.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:18:23

and. You know, I kind of set it up as well, there's kind of a couple of things that I believe in, like, I'll go get my cards, read and I'll be like, Ooh, I'm going to make money this year. You know? And I read my, horoscope in the morning, things like that. So like, there are parts of it that touches me, but there's also parts of it that I'm like, not repelled by, but I just know, like I'm not there as a person. That's not going to do it for me. That's not me and my personality and my type a personality. I think going back to one of the first things you said when you chose love as your second mantra was maybe, especially for people like us who do fall on the sarcasm spectrum or whatever that's a way in which we deal with a lot of situations and a lot of negativity and. Things that are happening in the world. That is our defense mechanism and how we deal. And I feel like if you don't give yourself the option to be who you are in negative situations, like that's, that's toxic in itself.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:19:24

Yeah.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:19:25

Identifying something as negative oh, I don't think you should choose love in a completely negative situation, And so I think there's a lot of stuff out there. There's this idea about toxic positivity, which is it's actually not good for us. Like. Life is messy. And like you said, marriages are messy and things. There are messy aspects to everything we do, and we have to identify the negative and the bad and be able to work around them and not just say, I'm going to choose love, then I'm not going to see it.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:19:55

Yeah. Yeah. It didn't, it. felt like I was like silencing a part of myself. And obviously in some ways, yes, I could choose love more often with myself and my body or maybe I could talk a little less shit, but in some ways you're right. It felt like I was like, I can't even think of a word, but silencing myself. Uh, yes. Censoring I'm like, what? Thank you. Yes. I was censoring myself and it, it didn't feel, feel authentic at all. And also I feel like, fuck, it sounds really negative or like harsh. I was thinking it was punk rock, but that can also be. A way to still choose love. If you give yourself. the option of this person made me mad, or I feel like I need to set this boundary, but I'm a little scared, like, fuck, it can also be the catalyst to do good. it doesn't have to be a negative thing. So it can be a push for change, but in a way that, to me, it had to be, it had to be sort of funny and cheeky, I guess, for it to work for my personality. So that's what it did. And like I said, it just kind of came out of us, joking about the word of the year. And then I was joking like, oh, that's my word of the year. And like, no poster, but. You know, it's been like three years every, January, when people start talking about their words, I'm like, should I try to be thoughtful? And like,

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:21:16

do that because I've I, until I started researching you, I never heard of the word of the year.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:21:22

never, I tried to, I think I sort of tried to like, keep fuck it, but also maybe try patients this year. but I already forgot that it was patients. Cause it just like, I just feel like, fuck it has seeped its way into my brain. It's working. If it's not fit, if it's not, I was going to say, if it's not fixed, don't break it, but whatever, it's not broke, don't fix it. So we'll just stick with it. It's been like three years and it's working. So

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:21:46

Yeah, I'd be curious if any of the listeners have had words of the year because I've never, I work in my background. Isn't very designed. Yeah. Focused. And we always have colors of the year, the Pantone color of the year, which I think is a moody thing. Like, that'll give you a sort of the mood for the year. So I think like 2020, it was like blue.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:22:12

Yeah. Yeah. I think, I mean, I don't know if that's, I think that's, I mean, I'm like, wow, that's cool. You never heard of it. Cause it was pressure. It was pressure. Obviously a pressure I felt to figure out my word and make it work. So it's like, instead of new year's resolutions, you just have like a word or like frame. I don't

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:22:29

I think that's better I don't make resolutions cause I mean, that's just a I'm destined to fail. So I don't, I mean, it looks, listen, everybody is like, I think they say that the average resolution lasts seven days or

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:22:42

Oh really? I was thinking a month, but yeah. I mean, mine's like, I don't make them. I don't make them anymore. Cause I already, like you said, I already know it's not going to

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:22:50

No. And that's, I know that's another thing. Oh, no, I have to have a new year's resolution because I sucked so bad in the previous year. I asked to change something, you know, like I like can't we just focus on all the things we're doing. Right. Instead of the things that are lacking.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:23:08

Yeah. And can we like start taking things off our plate instead of putting them on our way? That would be good. Yeah.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:23:13

the pandemic taught us anything about like, like what it wasn't great before the pandemic. So let's try to like, not bring everything back after the pandemic.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:23:24

I know, I know. Well, fuck it. We don't have. to. That's the beauty of it.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:23:30

We don't have to. I once watched a Ted talk and you should maybe look this up too, cause you would love it. And I can't remember exactly what it was called, but it was the woman who said how to figure out how many fucks you have to give and shoot. Like, I have a fuck it bucket. And every day I figure out how many fucks I have to give things. And like, when I'm out of fucks, you don't get it.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:23:55

Oh my gosh. I love that.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:23:57

I'll have to find it and send it to you.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:23:59

Yeah, I honestly, it's funny. Cause I I've said it a bunch right now and I don't, it's not like a huge part of my vocabulary and I don't always say this one out loud. Like

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:24:07

Yeah, I was going

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:24:08

it.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:24:08

you'd probably say under your breath or in your head.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:24:11

Yeah. I don't cut that. It's funny. Cause I was like an elementary art teacher and I have two little kids, so I'm not like walking around like a sailor all the time, but it helps. Yeah.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:24:22

So before we wrap up, tell the audience about your podcast and what that is.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:24:29

So my podcast is. called the imperfect party and it's really just about. figuring out how to embrace imperfection along that journey for me. So I think it's really fun. We've had one that recently That's like about diets, not working. So I'm like you have stuff like that too. And faith and creativity and just kind of trying to do your thing. Just the way you want to and not really following the rules. So that's.

audio_only_16778242_Julie_Brown: 00:24:58

That's perfect. So I'll put a link to that in the show notes. I love this conversation. It was so great.

audio_only_16780290_Deanna_Seymour: 00:25:03

Me too. It's so fun.

Julie: 00:25:05

This was a fun interview. And before I hear anything from you, I am in no way trying to disrespect the age, old Hindu and Buddhist rituals of mantras. I do however, want to shine a light on the fact that there is a veritable shit ton of garbage self-help fucking crap out there in the world. And there are real modern societal pressures telling us that we need these sorts of things in our lives. If we're going to be healthy and whatever fuck outs. And it's total BS. Does it help? Yeah, I'm sure it does. But it's not helpful if it forces you into some downward shame spiral thinking that you suck. Because you haven't been able to adopt them. And I'm not the only one who thinks this way. There was actually an Instagram account by Dan Zevon called modern mantras for daily affirmations for daily aggravations, with daily modules that you can take on for yourself. Like I'm a vision of beauty in this video conference or. This is the day I do something with my digital photos, or I will not lose my shit at Starbucks. And finally, maybe I will pick my parking battles. For me, Indiana, and probably a whole lot of other people finding inner peace has to come without losing our sense of humor. I want you to know that you can have any mantra that fits your personality. If it works for you, then it's the right one. And if you don't want to fucking mantra, then guess what? You don't need to have one simple as that. Okay. The drink of the day is super fun. And it's super cute. It's called the happy Buddha, and it's super simple. A complicated drink would fly in the face of what we're trying to accomplish here together. This is what you're going to need. One and a half ounces of white rum. Half an ounce of ginger. liquor. I use domain Canton. One ounce of simple syrup and two ounces of guava nectar, which you can find in the international aisle food store. I think I used all your brands. Where are you going to do? Is your net ice to a cocktail shaker and combine all the ingredients mixed. Well, And then strain into a coupe glass and garnish with a starfruit. If you have one don't freak yourself out and get all stressed out. If you don't have a starfruit, but if you've got to start fruit, that will look super cute. On the side of the coupe glass. All right friends. That's it for this week. Thanks for being here. If you want more. Julie Brown, check out my website, Julie Brown, bd.com. My book on Amazon, this shit works, or my page on Instagram at Julie Brown underscore BD. Or just meet me back here next week. Where I'm going to recap. One year of this shit works podcasts. I can't wait. Cheers.